one of the questions I asked myself is why talk in an empty room aka this blog. why not goto a discussion board to share my feelings, I have visited then looking for answers. I visited those boards during my first miscarriage, after it, during my many tests and procedures.
I found comfort knowing I m not the only one but honestly those boards are intimidating. mostly because they have their own language, I mean ask those acronyms, I dont know what it means
also because of fear, for a long time after my miscarriage I was obsessed with getting pregnant again. every waking thought was to prove to myself that my biggest fear.wasnt about to come true and my life' s biggest dream wasn't going to shatter. I fight even now to not let it become an obsession, those boards they will fuel it.
I planned the rest of my life around motherhood. God and fate are teaching me again the better lesson that the best plans in life fail,.backup plans fade. sometimes somethings you just can't control, this is one of those times in life