Monday, February 25, 2013

why not a discussion board

one of the questions I asked myself is why talk in an empty room aka this blog. why not goto a discussion board to share my feelings, I have visited then looking for answers. I visited those boards during my first miscarriage, after it, during my many tests and procedures.

I found comfort knowing I m not the only one but honestly those boards are intimidating. mostly because they have their own language, I mean ask those acronyms, I dont know what it means

also because of fear, for a long time after my miscarriage I was obsessed with getting pregnant again. every waking thought was to prove to myself that my biggest fear.wasnt about to come true and my life' s biggest dream wasn't going to shatter. I fight even now to not let it become an obsession, those boards they will fuel it.

I planned the rest of my life around motherhood. God and fate are teaching me again the better lesson that the best plans in life fail,.backup plans fade. sometimes somethings you just can't control, this is one of those times in life

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Which medium

Technology changes so rapidly, I cannot service whether I want to blog again or use twitter.
I am not sure I can fit my words into such a tiny medium. hmmm

Monday, February 18, 2013

Return to the blog world

It has been almost five years to date since I shut my previous blog as I busied myself with my new life as a new wife. There were new awaiting me and I thought I had outgrown the need to have a voice here. As an Indian with American literally sprinkled into my upbringing, I embraced the challenges of Indian cooking in a busy American life. I journeyed from miss to Mrs sometimes reluctantly, sometimes joyously and sometimes rebelling, sometimes fighting but mostly lovingly. I expected this journey to be hard.. I always knew the next step was motherhood, what I didn't expect was, this journey would be so hard maybe even beyond my reach. Two years, two miscarriages , several visits to drs, procedures, unheard prayers later. I have returned to my favourite medium of blogging hoping to find my voice, maintain my sanity, discover my courage to Jeep going and maybe even share my experiences with the world. God knows I have done my share of googling wondering if I m alone. I have turned to friends and leaned on my husband, faced the dreaded Indian society where they wonder when there will be a child even a stranger in a subway wanted to know. So here I m, miss to Mrs with a ? On mom